Why I am Obsessed with My Wife

Featured photo credit: Image by Sally Cavanaugh Photography

You have remained by my side through tough times. God has blessed me with such a wonderful and beautiful woman. Before I met you, I lacked consistency in my life growing up in the foster care system and as a child in poverty. You are my rock I so desperately needed.

You have provided me a life of happiness and growth. Along with the birth of our beautiful daughter, you have brought me the greatest source of motivation a man could ever ask for.

I am a ferociously motivated man obsessed with success. However, there is one thing that tops my obsession for success — my wife! I seem to be at a loss for words whenever you ask me why I love you. So, here is why I am obsessed with you.

You are my world

“Without you, I’m nothing. With you, I’m something. Together, we’re everything.”

You have provided me the most important thing a man can ask for, the opportunity to become a father. You have provided me purpose. I can say, without a doubt, that my purpose in life is to be a father to my sweet little girl and a husband to my smoking hot wife.

Recently, I came across an image of a conversation between a husband and wife. This conversation says it all.

Wife: I love you. Husband: I love you too. Wife: Prove it. Scream it to the world. Husband: ‘whispers in her ear’ I love you. Wife: Why did you whisper it to me? Husband: Because you are my world.”

You sacrificed your career for the ultimate career

“When life puts you in tough situations, don’t say… why me. Just say… try me.”

You sacrificed your career for the most important career — being a mother. I know I do not express this enough, but I truly appreciate everything about you. In fact, I don’t know what I would do without you.

We live in a life of constant movement. Being an army spouse, along with my career, forces us to always be on the move. Yet, you figured out how to activate a resilient mindset. You have an innate quality for rebounding from tough situations and being flexible enough to adapt.

You have remained confident in the face of adversity. We have stumbled at times, yet we are still together. In the military, quite a few marriages end in divorce, I am lucky to have a resilient wife who will always be by my side.

Death could not keep me from you

“I loved her not for the way she danced with my angels, but for the way the sound of her name could silence my demons.” — Christopher Poindexter

Whenever I encounter an important question, I am reminded of what is important to me. If I am presented with a large choice to be made, all I need to do is adopt the following mindset.

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” — Steve Jobs

We do not like discussing death or what would happen if one of us were to leave this world, but I want you to know that death could never keep me from you. Just the thought of not being with you and our daughter makes me sad. If I were to die, just know that nothing could keep me from you.

You made me a better man

“One day you’ll be alone and regret not being there. You’ll regret the birthdays and holidays missed. You’ll regret not watching her grow up and being in her life. You’ll regret everything, but it will be too late.”

One might think the above quote is directed at the dead-beat dad, however, it hits home to all fathers in the military. These were my thoughts last year, when my unit was preparing to head to the Middle East.

Regret and divorce were discussed in a recent conversation I had with a leader in my organization. I deeply respect this leader, yet you could hear the regret in his voice when he mentioned missing out on time with his children due to constant deployments in the military.

I am so grateful to you. Having a strong wife is extremely important. When you are up, I am up. However, when you are down, I am down. You have made me understand the importance of being with you and our beautiful daughter at all times.

You and our daughter are the only things in life that truly matter to me, and I vow to you… I will never leave your side.

You are the best part of my life

“How long is forever? Sometimes, just one second.” — Lewis Carroll

It’s amazing how and when messages find a person. We have an important decision to make soon, for which I am constantly searching for signs. A friend, without realizing it, provided me one. He told me about a video — here is the opening of that video.

“What do you desire? How would you really enjoy spending your life? When we finally got down to something the individual really wants to do, I will say to him you do that… and forget the money. If you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you will spend your life completely wasting your time. You will be doing things you don’t like doing, to go on living doing things you don’t like doing, which is stupid. Better to have a short life, that is full of what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way.” — Alan Watts

We have a limited amount of time on this planet and I have no desire to live for the wrong reasons. I get to wake-up with my reasons every morning. I know my reason for living, my purpose. My reason is you. My reason is my wife and child… Tomi and Ella.

Dr. Schwandt (Ed.D.) is an American author, L6S master black belt, and red teamer.

Dr. Schwandt (Ed.D.) is an American author, L6S master black belt, and red teamer.